Seeing that we’re already a month into the new year, I figured it might be a good idea to write a little about 2019 (year of the Pig)while things are still fresh in my memory. It was not one that I’d qualify as a ‘good’ year for me, which seems odd to me because I would have thought that a Horse would do well in a Pig year. Of course, I didn’t have a lot of time or opportunity to consider the pig nature of the year, but I do believe I saw it in the people around me, who often demonstrated quick bursts of ferocious anger and resentment, often without provocation, which were often driven by jealousy and greed for material things. I also found that food and creature comforts were in abundant supply, and that it seemed I was constantly cleaning and cooking.

Financially, it was a decent year with few major (unexpected) expenses or ‘turn arounds’. I was able to meet my needs and to make small advances, while having enough to share with others.

In relation to learning and travel, I did little, although I did start crafting (sewing) a little again, and our family got the chance to camp at Chippawa Nature Conservation Area, which was an amazing experience. I also did well with my garden, and my plants yielded the largest crop I’ve gotten out of it, yet!

Work wise, little changed, although management seems to be treating me better than they have in the past, which is a great relief, and I’ve been able to minimize the number of chores I’m expected to perform on a daily.

2019 was a banner year for me when it came to friends, and I’ve been amazed at the outpouring of love and support I’ve received, often from the most unexpected sources.

Physically, 2019 was an up-and-down year. In April and May, I went through some very scary experiences, which lead to visits to my GP, as well as a cardiologist and various labs. I quit smoking for 4 months, made some changes, and recovered quite well, though, and have been advised that my heart’s fine, although I do have to be careful of other major organs. This has led to many tweaks to diet and lifestyle, which seems to be having a positive affect.

Of all the areas of my life, that of ‘romantic’ connections is the one that changed most in 2019. My (then) boyfriend and I started the year on very shakey ground, due to a great degree to his narcissistic selfishness, and I told him clearly that while I loved him and wanted our relationship to continue, I’d need to see him put concerted and consistent effort into cooperating and changing/growing with me, or I would disassociate myself for my own well-being.

As usual, though, he failed to see this as an ‘opportunity’, and took it, instead, as an ‘attack’. He attempted to molify me by suggesting the use of a book/process to save our relationship, but when he failed to do the exercises and meet the goals it prescribed and, eventually, abandoned the effort, I was very disappointed. Generally speaking, he seemed to be biding his time and BSing to keep things together, while I tried to be patient and to give him oportunities, but also quit making excuses for him, and faced the reality of our situation.

Then, in Sept/Oct of 2019, he made the mistake of trying to get me to ignore the ‘boundary’ I’d set about ‘time’, and jerked my chain on a kayak deal, and I left him.

The ‘break up’ went fairly quickly and smoothly, and he started dating his next chick that week, while I’ve been working on processing and healing, since.

Another area of change in 2019 has been my mother’s health. She started deteriorating mentally and physically, and has begun to suffer from heart and lung problems, as well as quickly advancing dementia. In the latter quarter of the year, she was in and out of hospital, and is now on oxygen 24/7. My sister and I have been doing our best to help mom, but we’re not hopeful.

Ironically, between my break up and the situation with Mom, you’d think I’d be stressed to the max, but I’m proud to say that I’m dealing fairly well with both situations, and coping with the change and stress. This has likely got to do with the fact that, since I’m no longer having to split my week between my place and my Ex’s, I’ve had more time to take care of and enjoy my home, am no longer having my heart broken on a regular, and my sister is bearing the brunt of the stress with Mom.

I’m sure there’s more I could write, but this should be enough to jog my memory if needed in future.

With 2018 passing, and time seemingly moving quicker and quicker for me as I age, I thought I’d take a moment to make a few notes while everything’s still relatively fresh in my mind…

House…

Late spring, Dan, Zig, and I reworked the back of the yard – relocating and adding plants – creating a ‘fairy’ garden for my grand-kids, and extending the veggie garden. The tomatoes and Swiss Chard did well, although the squirrels made off with just about anything edible. Next year, I want to add Brussel Sprouts and other dark greens. I also put in some garlic from dear departed Adolf’s garden. (God’s rest his soul.) Oh! and we had another infestation of maple bugs, which I’ve learned can be controlled with dish soap and water in a sprayer. Finally got the front door painted, the front stairs parged, and made a new winter tarp for the front porch. Really prefer the new design.

At Dan’s, we scrapped like mongrels, but ended up redoing part of the Dog House floor, adding a sink… and he rewired the house and got insulation blown in.

Family…

This year, Mom moved to Niagara, and it’s been a struggle dealing with her health issues, let alone her attitude. She’s had 2 or 3 episodes when she’s gone off her nut, and her doctor is of little use. At least she’s here, now, and we can help her. It would have been impossible for us to do anything with her living on the other side of the province.

The grand-kids are doing great. The little guy has finally begun to understand and even speak French! A huge relief, since both Anglophone parents aren’t teaching it at home. Meanwhile, lil Miss is growing like a weed and turning into quite the little ‘mother’.

Meanwhile, things between my kids and I have remained stable, or even improved a bit, which is nice. While Dan’s family has had their ups and downs, but seem fine.

Friends…

2018 began with Richard’s death. He’ll always be missed. Dan and I had said we’d put a plaque in the Dog House, but haven’t gotten around to it, yet. We also threw a 60th birthday party for Di, which went very well. We got closer to Ange and Matt, and I’ve unfortunately gotten less time with MA. In November, we lost Zig.

Travel…

Didn’t do nearly as much traveling as we usually do. Went to Watkins Glenn one weekend, and spent another at Byng. We also rode in the bike games at the Bro Bash for the 1st time. Otherwise, just biking, bicycling (bought a cruiser this year), and walking. Dan went to Cuba in December.

Weather…

This was a funky year when it came to cloud cover. I’ve noticed we get fewer and fewer clear days, and storms were strange… mostly missing us, but hitting hard when they did. Fall was practically a non-event, being comprised of a couple of weeks of cool rain and everyone stuck inside. Didn’t get out for even one walk in the leaves. Winter’s been so mild so far that I’ve seen some of my transplants sending shoots up in Dec.

Health…

My health took a dive this spring, eventually landing me in emergency. I fainted 3 or 4 times, and could get no real help from doctors. Cathy got me to try a suedo Keto diet, and it’s made a world of diff. My health’s been more stable than it has in years, since!

Work has been ‘status quo’ all the way, and there’s been little else worth recalling.

Lessons…

If I take anything away from this year, it’ll be…

• to continue to use positive mindset and hard work to bring improvements to my material existence… trust that you”ll always have enough, and to aim high, because anything’s possible
• to continue to value relationships above all else, but also to know when they’re a dead end, and to move on… there’s always more to be had
• you are what you eat
• I am a strong, capable, loving person who deserves good things in my life!

I’m ‘yaking… in the moment

it’s all rhythmic breath and movement

repetition washes cares and stress away

 

conscious thought is dissipated

while the ‘I’ in me gets faded

attuned to all 6 senses, I awake

 

and gently dip my paddle

feel vibrations ‘long the handle

play of currents in the water and the air

 

this subtle information

like ‘artistic inspiration’

determines how each ‘next’ stroke should be placed

 

without rushing or resisting

more like, fluid, co-existing

I let the air and water do the work

 

‘plant’ my paddle, slide my hips

and my whole craft lightly slips

smoothly ‘cross the surface of the stream

 

it’s moving ‘meditation

I’m creator and creation

in tune with Mother Nature, and at peace

 

While kayaking, recently, I got playing with my paddle and stroke. By paying ‘thoughtless’ attention to the constant stream of information I got from the boat, paddle, and my body, I stumbled upon something rather amazing. If I leaned forward a little, ‘planted’ my paddle in the water like a ski pole into snow, and – rather than dragging the water past me – simply slid my lower body and the boat around it past the paddle, I could move much smoother and easier past my it, in a desired direction. 

As odd as it may sound, the first time I felt it happen, I was surprised.

After all, we tend to perceive water as being ‘fluid’ and innately ‘yielding’. So, the idea of being able to ‘plant’ the paddle into it and having the water ‘hold’ the paddle still hadn’t occurred to me. As soon as I recognized the phenomenon, however, I simultaneously recognized that ‘perceptions’ can be deceptive, and that changing one’s perspective can also change one’s experience of something.

If you, carefully, dip your hand into a pond, for example, the water’s surface yields, gently, allowing your hand to submerge itself. If you drop a body from hundreds of feet onto a pond, however, its surface will feel more like concrete, and that body might even bounce across it a few times like a skipping stone before the loss of velocity and such will allow it to sink past the surface. Thus, while water seems fluid and yielding, it can also be experienced as solid or unyielding… even unyielding enough to ‘plant’ something into it. 

Now, I can’t wait to get back out on the water and play with this and, possibly, perfect the technique before the kayaking season ends. With practice, I may be able to build muscle memory to the point that I won’t have to re-learn it next year, and it might help to alleviate the chronic tendinitis I’ve suffered for years.

I also suspect that, having seen this example of the affects of perception upon experience in kayaking, I’ll be able to translate it to other areas of my life, which may lead to new and useful perceptions and experiences elsewhere. 

 

 

You know, time’s been going by so fast that summer’s going to be gone before we know it, and that got me thinking that I really should write something about what we’ve been up to while its all still fresh in my memory. So…

Kayaking:

This year, the Niagara Region’s gotten a lot more rain and more consistent cloud cover than we’re used to, which has led to record high water levels, not only in the Great Lakes, but pretty much anywhere not controlled by the canal system. That’s meant that ponds and streams that, usually, dry out to the point of inaccessibility have remained usable… especially for people like us who like to kayak… well into the boating season.

I, also, realized fairly quickly that, while we’ve kayaked some local waterways to death, these higher water levels have been opening up the chance to travel further than we have in the past, so that we could rediscover old favorites. So far, we’ve kayaked…

15 Mile Pond: from Charles Daley Park to just short of 4^th Ave., where it became tree choked.

16 Mile Pond : from service road at Charles Daley Park to just short of 4^th Ave.

Martindale Pond: from the Green Ribbon Trail, down the side creek to the last bend before the QEW.

Grand River: from York Park, York to Bob Baigent Memorial Park, Caledonia.

Welland River: from bridge in Niagara Regional Road 27, (between Beketts Bridge and Niagara Central Dorothy Rungeling Airport,) down southward pointing branch of Welland River to natural dam, just past the train bridge.

Big Creek: from Concession Road 3 to the marina at the last bridge (Regional Rd 59) before Lake Erie.

Frenchman’s Creek: from the Niagara Parkway to about a kilometer or so past first split in the creek near Bridgeberg.

Rockwood (Eramosa River): paddled from the mill to the dam near the beach.

Guelph Lake: just a short paddle around northern branch of the reservoir.

… and we’ve taken in a few of the many local musical events…

• went to private party to hear the ‘Brothers Gunn’, St. Catharines
• checked out Blues on the Battlefield, Thorold, Ontario
• caught a number of bands at the Bro Summer Bash, Welland
• the Norfolk Tavern, Saturday afternoon band jam, Port Dover
• also various street festivals in Font Hill, Niagara, etc.
• Fireman’s park Thursday night blues concert

Of course, we’ve also done a little riding (motorcycle),

• the Bro Summer Bash, Welland, gave us a chance to ride from St. Catharines to Vineland, to Font Hill, and Welland, where the party was amazing, as usual.
• Rode to just north of Port Dover, then hugged the shoreline of Erie to Port Stanley, and stayed a night in Simcoe, before kayaking Big Creek, then rode to Dover for the night, and home.
• From Niagara, along Ridge Rd, to Hamilton, where we clocked the Burlington Harbor for future kayaking run
• Various rides around the Niagara Region

In between, we’ve also gotten the chance to do some ‘killin’ an’ chillin’ out at Jack’s ‘Lake House’ and at various friend’s homes. We’ve taken in the the 82nd running of the Prince of Wales Stakes at the Fort Erie Race Track, and gone bicycle riding with the grandkids.

One thing we haven’t been doing this year is mushroom hunting, which is a shame because this moist weather’s, likely, been making all sorts of treasures pop up, but I just haven’t been willing to risk the ticks (Argh!) Same goes for camping, which is a shame, because I really wanted to camp at Rockwood Park(near Guelph) or Turkey Point this year. Maybe I’ll get brave in August(?)

Of course, life’s not all bikes and beers, and we’ve spent a good deal of time – including the BF’s vacay – just taking care of business. In his case, that’s meant getting a lot of miscellaneous repairs and clean up done on his property. While, in mine, its meant finally tackling some serious drainage issues at my house. So, I’ve been puttering for weeks at installing a French drain in my yard, relocating a storage shed, and getting foundation work that I’ve put off for the past 8 years DONE.

Now, I’ve still got a tree root to deal with, and a bunch of brick to move and ground to level, as well as a ‘fire pit’ to build, but we’ve gotten the worst of the work done. So, next year, I can start beautifying this joint.

Well, its time to say goodbye to the monkey, is it?

Travel: went to Sosua, Dominican Republic in Feb., Byng Camp Grounds, Dunville, in the summer, but stayed within the Niagara Region, otherwise. Went to street festivals, bike runs, hiked, and kayaked a few ‘new’ creeks along the Niagara and Welland rivers.

House: no big changes, converted lights (basement) to LED, added spinach – other flowers and such to yard, refined the look, added tarp to front porch for winter, started decorating. Also, lost roommate Josh and gained Zig, Lou’s still here. Had an infestation of Maple Bugs again, but not as bad as last year.

Money: no major advances or set-backs, always seemed to have ‘enough’ and to get by.

Weather: had a typical winter/spring, then a long, dry, hot summer, hardly any fall, and winter’s been GREAT! with more rain than snow. It Jan. and I’ve only shoveled once, about an inch of snow. Worried for the world, though.

Health: fairly stable, with continuing concerns about increasing pulse rate, lungs, etc. but my head doesn’t feel like its got an orange growing in it any more. Still stuck on Turkey Tail.

Family: Both my brother (and his family) and sister visited, which was a big deal. Daughter finally bought a car. Son ended long-term relationship with a toxic GF. Spent more than usual time with BF’s family. Mom still alive and kicking in the home.

Friends: continued to develop friendship with MA and Lady Di. Making friends with Zig. Lost Mr. B. Haven’t been as active with larger circle of BF’s friends this year. Spent most of my time with him or my favorite girls.

Work: no big changes, got small raise, relationship with manager still toxic, although owner seems to have softened a little late summer.

BF/GF relationship: BF seemed more considerate this spring than usual, but once weather warmed up he often lost to his puppet-master. Oh, and he stopped with the shut-downs early summer (also gave me trip to DR and best B-day ever!) but was slowly but surely driving me nuts. By Sept. I couldn’t take it any more and I told him he had to cut the strings or I’d have to leave. From then to Xmas it was a constant struggle, but at the 11^th hour, he seems to have decided ‘we’ are worth it, and he’s showing effort. Made it through our 6^th year together!

Otherwise, this seemed a ‘fast’, hot year, with lots of chances to feel like a movie star, hanging in a rich man’s swimming pool, going to the beach, seeing what’s left of nature in the area. (Saw my 1^st live/wild mink!) Paddled from Byng to the point, and so many other miles. Slowly but surely getting more confident in driving. Put a lot of miles on with traveling every week to see kids, get dental work done in Welland, etc. Started cleaning/sorting/decorating my space like never before. Over all, relationships went well this year, but still sick-sad about Josh and B : ( and worried about environment and politics with Trump election in the States. Never made it to PA – might not go again this year.

Only ‘monkey’ traits of the year that I noticed were that I was always busy, esp. with hands/working, and it went ‘fast’ and included lots of opportunity to ‘play’.