You know, I’m still giggling over how shocked my buddy, ‘the Dog’, is about my being able to draw. ‘Three years and you never mention you do this…?!’ he asked, but the truth is that I had. He just didn’t take me seriously.

Since I started drawing again a few weeks ago, though, he’s become something of a fan and constantly compliments, critiques, and challenges me, which is nice ’cause it reminds me of my teen years when friends used to bug me to draw this or that while we hung out. Unfortunately, that usually leads to The Dog telling me how talented I am and that I should do something with it, and that makes me really… really… uncomfortable.

You see, what ‘The Dog’ doesn’t know is that I’ve been there, done that.

I’ve already been told that I have talent. I’ve been told I should go to school and make a career of it. At 47 years old, though, I am not about to go into debt for an education or career that I won’t have the time to make ‘pay off’. Starving artist…? No thanks!

The other thing that The Dog doesn’t ‘get’ is that it’s been 25 freakin’ years since I’ve put any serious effort or time into drawing so its almost like starting all over. Hell! I didn’t even know if I could draw any more! Now that I am trying, though, it seems that I am a little more capable than I figured and its surprising me on a regular. So, it would be cool to take a little time and find out what else I can do before I start thinking about making money at it.

The biggest reason I’m not letting anything go to my head, though, is that I had very personal reasons for learning to draw, giving it up, and for starting again, and what I haven’t admitted to anyone is that I have very personal reasons for worrying about what drawing again may do to my life. That means that I may also have reason to give it up again, so its not something I’d want to go nuts on and learn too late that it was a mistake.

Anyways, got no one to talk to about this so had to spill my guts. Will have to think this through more..