Just Lynn

One woman. One name. One hell of an attitude!

a gift of Tarot

Written By: witchypo - Aug• 19•14

Last week while driving home from work, I spotted some friends on a patio and stopped to have a drink with them. As I slid a chair up to the table and exchanged greetings with them, S said she had something for me and offered me a deck of Tarot cards and their companion book wrapped in a shopping bag.

Of course, that lead to my being asked to read for my friend ‘T’, but I hesitated because its probably been almost two years since I’ve even touched the cards. In fact, as I hesitated, I realized I hadn’t even been considering the possibility and that, if I took them, they’d likely just end up collecting dust. But, a part of me also missed using them, so I agreed to give it a shot. ‘If I can remember how and you don’t mind if I mess up large…’ I told her.

As soon as I started, the familiar fears that’d plagued me throughout the 15 or so years I’d actively read Tarot came back to haunt me. Could I…? What if I’m way off…? But, I forced them back down and ‘winged it’, and had barely lain the fourth card before she stopped me.

‘Enough!’ she cried, with one hand raised as if to ward me off, and her face turned away as though she couldn’t bare to even look at the cards. Then, she explained that she didn’t need to hear any more to know that I knew what I was doing, and insisted I read for her another time in a more private setting.

Naturally, I did, and then packed the book and cards into my purse, thanked S for them, and we all chatted. Later, however, as I thought about what happened, I questioned my decision not to touch the cards.

One of the major reasons I’d made it, you see, was censure from my boyfriend, who doesn’t believe in or support my using them. I’d also set them aside because I knew I could mess with my own head with them, and because friends had often taken far too much of my energy by imposing upon me for free readings. What I hadn’t allowed myself to think about for a very long time, though, was how much I missed the challenge of the cards and the joy of being able to use them to help others. So, as I packed a bag for a weekend at my boyfriend’s, I tossed my favorite deck into my bag… ‘just in case…’

The funny thing was, though, that I did two more readings on the weekend before it even occurred to me that I could use the cards to look at some of the issues in my own life and, perhaps, gain some insight into them. Of course, many people insist that one shouldn’t read for themselves, but introspection’s always been one of my favorite uses for the cards. So, I think I’ll keep them out for a while and see where it leads.

Yes, I’m a little nervous about letting myself use them again, but perhaps I’ve learned from past mistakes and grown strong enough to say ‘no’ when I haven’t got the energy to give to others(?)

I guess I’ll have to wait and see…

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